Hi, welcome to my blog. I have no idea what I'm doing and this is probably going to be a very common theme in my blog.

My name is Emma. I am 33 years old and am a single mother to 15 month old twin boys, Benny and Chops (not their real names).

I never planned to have children and was told that it wasn't a possibility anyway. I was muddling along just fine until one day in December 2013 when, for reasons unknown, I took a pregnancy test which came back positive. I drank a couple of litres of water and did another test. Another positive. I still didn't believe it so I had it confirmed by the GP. Yep, still positive. The next day I went to Options for some advice on my options  (strangely enough) and I concluded that this baby was here against all the odds and that this pregnancy was meant to be.

I got excited and started telling those closest to me. My mum I told whilst I was hiding behind the fridge. A couple of weeks later I started to bleed. I went to the hospital for an early scan. Everything was A OK and I was told I was carrying twins. I lay there, impaled by some metal implement, squealing "twins, twins, what the fuck do you mean by twins?!" It turns out it meant pretty much how she said it. I was pregnant with twins. Me, the woman who never wanted children. The woman who had held two babies in her entire life. The woman who recoiled when her colleagues brought their newborns into work. The woman with the poo phobia. The irresponsible woman with all the common sense of a pair of hot pants.

How on Earth was I going to deal with this?

If I had thought about it, I would have started this blog then. But it never even occurred to me. Or at least when the boys were born, but I barely had time to fart let alone maintain a blog. But better late than never.

Emma
10/11/15